Relationship Red Flags

Warning Signs

Common Traits of Abusers:
"Nice Person"
  • An abuser may be pleasant and charming between periods of violence and is often seen as a "nice person" to others outside the relationship.
  • A majority of abusers are only abusive with their current or previous intimate partners.
Denies Abuse
  • An abuser often denies the existence or minimizes the seriousness of the violence and its effect on the victim and other family members.
Objectifies
  • An abuser objectifies the victim and often sees them as their property or sexual object.

Low Self-Esteem
  • An abuser often has low self-esteem and feels powerless and ineffective in the world. They may appear successful, but internally, they feel inadequate.

Blames Abuse on External Factors
  • An abuser externalizes the causes of their behavior. They blame their violence on circumstances such as stress, their partner's behavior, a "bad day," on alcohol, drugs, or other factors.

Anyone Can Be an Abuser

Abusers come from all groups, all cultures, all religions, all economic levels, and all backgrounds. They can be your neighbor, your pastor, your friend, your child's teacher, a relative, a coworker -- anyone.
For more information or to get help, call our 24 hour crisis line number at (517) 372-5572